cycle

i know things change, but I'm having a real tough time with the way things have changed in this last year. this day last year, my life was just about perfect. it was the way i want it to be now. it was simpler, everyone in my life was how they had always been for as long as i had known them. things started to change on May 21, 2011. but on May 20th, they were flawless. and now i sit here a year later. SO much has changed since last year. probably half of my friends have changed to a whole new person that i barely know now. the other half have just become better friends. i know i should focus on the positive and bask in the greatness of the strong friendships that  have become stronger since last year. but i can't help focusing on my dear friends that have changed....not necessarily for the worst....but for the worse for our friendship. my friendships my whole life have been cyclical....and i knew that wouldn't change, but for some reason last year i was on such a high that i thought these relationships would last forever. or at least the next few years. i had the false hope that they would stay exactly the same. but so many relationships have done all but crash and burn....it makes me so sad. and so angry. and so frustrated. they were people i never wanted to lose, and while i have not completely lost touch with them, things aren't the same. i just miss knowing how close we were and the potential our friendships still have that isn't being fulfilled. it disappoints me, but i guess that's life. most things are cycles right? so maybe this time next year things will be the same again! or for the pessimist in me....they'll be worse