I love it. I’m learning so much. This class literally makes me question anything and everything that I’ve known about the existence of God.
A girl back in my hometown who’s a sophomore was diagnosed with cancer recently. I don’t know any of the details. But things like this always make me question things about God. In my book it says:
“Someone tells us that God loves us as a father loves his children. We are reassured. But then we see a child dying of inoperable cancer of the throat. His earthly father is driven frantic in his efforts to help, but his Heavenly Father reveals no obvious sign of concern. Some qualification is made – God’s love is “not a merely human love” or it is “an inscrutable love,” perhaps – and we realize that such sufferings are quite compatible with the truth of the assertion that “God loves us as a father (but, of course,..).” We are reassured again. But then perhaps we ask: what is this assurance of God’s (appropriately qualified) love worth, what is this apparent guarantee really a guarantee against? Just what would have to happen not merely (morally and wrongly) to tempt but also (logically and rightly) to entitle us to say “God does not love us” or even “God does not exist?””
this really makes me think. I had the chance this summer to get close with a friend who is much older than me. He took me under his wing because of something I was struggling with. He’s an atheist. My friends look at that and say, “wow, how can someone be an atheist?” but I look at this man and think “how could he not be an atheist?” I don’t understand the Lord’s purpose in that. This man has gone through SO MUCH. It’s crazy. He was abused when he was younger. This lead to intense depression. Which lead to very serious self-injury. Which has lead to suicide attempts. Multiple attempts. I’m not trying to throw a pity-party for this man. But things like this always make me think about God. Now, I surely believe in God and I believe that the Lord has a plan. But what could his plan with this man possibly be? It makes absolutely no sense to me. Where is the line where “God exists” and “God has a plan” ends? What has to happen for us to say that “maybe God doesn’t have a plan”? I’m not saying that this is what I think. But what could the Lord’s plan POSSIBLY be with this man? I was thinking about it the other day. This guy really helped me out a lot this summer and taught me a lot of things about myself. Someone may say that his teaching me about myself was the Lord’s plan for him. But how could that be? The sole plan for this man was to teach a young girl about life? There’s no way. Then again, maybe the Lord’s plan for this guy’s life hasn’t been fulfilled yet. That’s reassuring, just like it says in the quote above. But then again, what if he had succeeded in killing himself years ago before I’d ever met him or before he had the chance to help anyone? Then what would be the Lord’s plan for him?
I know that we’re not supposed to know everything about God. I know that it’s impossible to know everything about God. I’ve definitely been assured of that in this class. But things like this are the things I really just wish I could understand. I would be so much stronger if I had an answer for these questions that are in my head right now.
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