about a boy

so i like one? yes. so he's from home? yes. so we're four hours away? yes.

i like him a lot. i like that we can talk about most anything. i like that he has a great heart for the Lord. i like that he is super sweet and pursues me.

I don't like that we are far away.

but most of all....i don't know what to do. i have never had a boy. not really. i don't know what to do because there are other things in my life that i need to take care of. i want him to get that. i don't know if he does. it is more important to me to be redeemed from a past sin than to have a boy. much more important. he said he will wait. but i don't know how i feel about that. i still feel pressure to hurry. but i don't think that i can hurry the process of redemption that this will take. i need to stop thinking about this boy. i need to focus. on the Lord. and on healing. but it is harder than i thought it would be.