i have followers?

whoa. so i was fiddling around on blogger. and i realized....i have followers?! then i realized how many views my blog has. i am so confused. i was writing things like i had no audience. kind of like i would write in my journal, but not as in depth. then i realized that people actually read what i write, and i had the urge to delete some things. but i refrained. the whole point of this blog (well, it was originally just for fun) is to be real. i don't need to censor myself. odds are, if someone found my blog and cared enough to read it, then they don't want me to be fake. i think that people seek out thing and people that can be real. i don't wanna be anything else. so i'm not editing anything. and i'm gonna keep writing like no one's reading.

also, i was pretty inspired when i saw my followers. i found two new blogs to follow. both from freshmen in high school. i want to link them here, but idk if they'd like that. but i just think it's so great. freshmen. in high school. who love the Lord. freshmen in high school who love the Lord enough to make a blog about it. that is so inspiring to me. it inspires me to be a good Young Life leader. i want my girls to become that strong in their faith.

also (again), i decided to redo my blog. yes, it is lilly. i think it's festive.  i will probably change it a lot til i get it how i like it. also, i need a new title. i am struggling with what to call my blog. nothing sticks out to me. i'd say that's the biggest flaw of this website.

but before i got distracted, i came here to post this:
today my best friends from high school were reunited. it's the first time we've all been together since august. it's so weird that we all lead our own lives now. also weird that it feels like we were never apart. i'm truly blessed to have them. to have people like that who are so real. honestly. they are true to themselves [almost] all the time. faking it never even crosses their minds, because they're confident in who they are. we all know that we love each other, so there's no need to be anything but real. i LOVE that. they're the only group i have that with. those 5 or 6 people, and julia. and tricia. that's really it. some others, i just feel like i have to be something i'm not. and you know what? that's why i think that those friendships will last. it will continue to feel like we were never apart when we're reunited. i hope i am right about this. because i'd hate to lose them.

"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it." ~ Romans 12:9 (the Message)